Adam John Bell

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Adam's NTSR posts

From: James Balnaves
Date: Aug 9, 2005 2:50 PM
Subject: [NTSR] Adam, My Favourite Posts to NTSR

I want for it not to be true so much that I can hardly believe what has happened. My thoughts and any help I can give go out to Annie, his family and friends, especially those with him on Saturday. On thinking back on conversations and his 1,700+ NTSR posts, I see that some of Adams' endearing qualities were his great sense of humour, his readiness to help others out with problems of any sort (and having a staggering amount of useful advice), his enthusiasm towards his family, new home and motorcycling, his well thought-out opinions on motorized vehicles of any sort and his absolutely brilliant attitude in general.
I'm not sure whether it was his engaging banter, his status as a fellow expat or being part of the silver Daytona brigade, but whenever there was a group ride I hoped Adam would be coming along. I will remember him fondly and he will be sorely missed.

Here are some of my favourite posts from Adam to NTSR:

Aug 28, 2003
I will be in Acton tonight also, probably with woman in tow (not literally hopefully).


Sep 4, 2003
The primer gags have been coming so thick and fast, I just surrendered and ordered five cans of Triumph's "nuclear hot pink" to differentiate myself and avoid an identity crisis.


Sep 5, 2003
I'm not a Londoner!

Unless I am drunk and angry, in which case I sound like Michael Caine like everyone else does. Nobody knows why this happens.


Sep 13, 2003
Yes I'm back already. Here is my report!

Highway ride up Friday night: 200 miles

Keys broken off popping rear seat on Friday night: 1

Ignition modules shagged enabling me to start bike with broken key: 1

Miles driven by fiancee bringing spare key to enable me to put fuel in bike, then following me home via Great Bay MC: 450

Highway ride back Saturday afternoon: 250 miles

GBMC's reported cost of replacement ignition module: $182, part only

Aborted assault on Vermont backroads: Priceless.

It was nice to meet everybody who was there though, I wish I'd have got to ride with them.

Oh and incidentally, I have 11k on the bike. GBMC's estimate for 12k service is 800 notes. That'll be me doing it myself then, they must be joking.

Oh the joy of motorcycling.


Sep 15, 2003
It didn't occur to me to check, when propositioning English girls it is generally accepted that one can address either end without breaking etiquette, and old habits die hard.

--- In, Sean Ford wrote:
> Mick and Ken put her back together after I had my way with her. I don't know if
> you know Mick and Ken that well, but they're not real bright, so some parts
> didn't get put back where they belong.
> What I'm trying to say, delicately, is... you may have been talking to the wrong
> end.


Sep 18, 2003
The key episode sucked, but these things happen and that won't again!

I can eat with the best of them. In fact I had just knocked off a huge steak when I snapped the key off. I think it was protein overload.


Sep 25, 2003
Well I am off on a solo visa-getting mission to Montreal this morning. If I get back tomorrow night then the Daytona has done the business and all is well. If you never hear from me again I've abandoned the bike and am living in Canada as a vagabond illegal immigrant surrounded by French-speaking people - a nightmare second only in proportion to watching Moulin Rouge again.

At least the key can't break this time, since most of it is still in the ignition!

Hope you have all dried out, I look forward to seeing the track day photos.


Oct 1, 2003
I've never been to the Vanilla Bean either.

>a decent cup of iced coffee

Come on, serving cold coffee or tea is just not right!

I have yet to get my head round it, and suspect it to be the work of the devil.


Oct 1, 2003
>Refridgeration is a wonderful thing... get on board!

No chance mate. To us Brits it is an infernal concept right up there with putting the steering wheel on the wrong side and having straight teeth.


Oct 1, 2003
Although I have never been to the land down under, I have been told it's a place where the men are men...and so are the women.

So it sounds a bit like Wales.


Oct 2, 2003
Because for some reason the rest of the world has yet to embrace concepts such as "black pudding". How you managed to get hooked on mexican food is beyond me - it's a one trick pony and you won't find a congealed pigs blood product on the menu. For shame!


Oct 2, 2003
I like it!

And for madam may I recommend the Shepherds Enchilada and Refried Leeks, with a side order of the Haggis Tamales?

--- In, Sean Ford wrote:
> I think you just stumbled onto a great business opportunity. Why don't you open
> something like, "Smythe's Mexican Restaurant" and as a specialty you could offer
> a "Black Pudding Chimichanga". Mmmmmmm. Yummy.


Oct 8, 2003
I was reading about the new Mille for 04 recently, and I must say THAT is the way to design lamps into a tailsection. No sodding about with fenders or wobbly things on stalks.

I then noticed that Aprilia have joined Ducati and all other motorcycle manufacturers in having a fabulous and exciting website. Someone in Hinckley must be sleeping at their f@*$ing desk when they should be paying me to redesign their site. When it comes to dynamism, makes that weedy guy from Will & Grace look like The Punisher after mainlining a liter of Liquid Plumber.


Oct 24, 2003
A ladder would be a handy thing to have in January. Useful as an outrigger for balancing on ice if you fit wheels to the far ends, and if you mount it facing skywards, you can climb the thing to escape shrapnel when following snowplows.


Nov 14, 2003
>When is Camp Mead? Winter sucks already.

I can't wait for next year's Camp Meade...particularly since I have replaced my ignition and had four sets of aerospace-grade titanium keys made : )


Nov 23, 2003
They are Triumph sport jeans - the old type since they now have a new design. They just need a bit of breaking in around the thighs. Until then I will simply ride side-saddle, if it's good enough for the Queen it's good enough for me.


Jan 2, 2004
My bike wanted about six pounds in each since three weeks or so ago when they were fitted. Even on a gentle cruise the new tires felt great though, already better than the squared off Dunlop D(isaster) 207s.

It was a massively uncomfortable ride though, the combination of going back to higher stock rearsets and breaking in very stiff new leathers made me feel like I was in an arthritic bondage movie : (


Jan 21, 2004
Anyone know of smart ways of buying Arai lids other than wandering into the dealer and bending over?

I am looking around for a Signet and am just learning about their contemptible no-shipping-no-advertising-the-price dealer policy, the blatant gross-margin-protecting likes of which have not been seen since the days of Nazi Germany.

Since the dawn of the Internet era, I have developed a peculiar but money-saving aversion to paying full price for things at shopfront locations, and therefore this phenomenon is what we of Merry England would refer to as a right pain in the tits.


Jan 29, 2004
I would not worry about that. Or this idea of them bailing out of sports bikes in general. Everybody try to remain calm!

Until they poach Terry Blancmange from Ducati to lead their design team and turn the Speed Triple into something that looks like the Multistrada (ie, a Rowenta iron), I see no reason to throw a wobbly.

--- In, "Bill" wrote:
> If they do drop the sport bike models, how long will they maintain
> stock in replacement items? Engines, etc.


Jan 29, 2004
>Maybe the Italian women get prettier or hornier when
>they get older so it keeps these guys in the Duc
>factory young at heart and mind.... ;-)

I believe what happens is they get larger, forcing the men to satisfy their passions with sexy cars and bikes.

Fortunately for them their women are also cheaper than ours, so they can actually afford mind-buggeringly expensive Italian bikes.


Feb 5, 2004
>Most of you probably know my dad on this list, TriumphJoe

Well I did wonder, but obviously was dumb enough to imagine that it was pure coincidence that the only two Acamporas I had ever heard of were into Triumph bikes.

Idiot factor 9 please Mr Sulu.


Feb 25, 2004
>What's the best way to lighten it up?

Put half a tank of fuel in, and have a curry the night before?

Sorry, I am a street rider and not really a lightening-things-up kind of a bloke at all.

But of course you want to swap out the exhaust early on although such weight savings are not really tangible.

I must say I thought the 04 I sat on felt a lot lighter than my 01, as do most S3s. It have been a Jedi mind trick though. And the new Speed Triples seem to have a lower seat which helps give the impression they are lighter.

I'd say ride one before worrying about it, as Ken wisely recommends.

Oh by the way Ken, I was there on Sunday and think Moto Mkt might be closed during Daytona week because they are all headed down (Paul racing), although even if so it would still be a viable meeting place for a ride to GBMC, just one that might not have any coffee.

Bring the weather. Bring it!


Feb 28, 2004
Great to see you and Kevin and Rob, nice to meet Sean finally and Wayne and Charlie too.

You are right Ken, there were not many bikes there. Absolutely nothing wrong with the conditions either. So it was great to put in a good showing.

Me and Kevin ended up just banging it back down 95/128 to get back Metrowestside. I didn't care much, it was just good to be out and I smiled my way through the whole day. Sometimes I forget, but it is nice to be reminded that the triple RIPS.

I feel like riding tomorrow as well now. So maybe I will!


March 10, 2004
Is it just me, or is the weekend weather looking a bit on the surprisingly handy side from a riding point-of-view?


March 13, 2004
I am also Sturbridge-impaired but it looks just far enough to freeze my knackers off, which should return a sense of accomplishment if nothing else.

Today I'll probably just ride up to Moto Mkt around noon and give Paul my coffee money, then go to the Home Depot and give them the rest as per usual.


April 10, 2004
Having been to the dump to get rid of the wood that used to be my bathroom, on the designated fifth Saturday after Pentecost in the year of the monkey when the moon is in the third phase of Venus, then waiting in line for half a f$%king hour, I should be good for a 9:30 meet with Kevin.

I heard from Rupert last evening but not since, he might still be feeling last night's Guinnesses or doing the walk of shame from some poor bird's apartment.


April 11, 2004
Oh and although Nod didn't have any hobnobs, today Annie's parents gave me some consolation for Easter. They managed to come up with a box of Mr Kiplings Bramley Apple Pies (he makes exceedingly good cakes), a box of Cadburys fingers, and some Yorkie bars. Which it seems nowadays have printed on the wrapper "Not For Girls" - haha!

Christ, a full day of riding and Cadburys chocolate. Do weekends get much better?


May 6, 2004
Just a word of warning, Greg - in the real world, riding a Vespa will not get you an alleyway shag with Leslie Ash. Cancel your order.

--- In, "Greg Jarvis" wrote:
> Quadrophenia on Speed TV last night?
> That movie cracks me up...


May 6, 2004
> guess who's getting a full body cavity search
> the next time you try to get back in the US

Cool, it's been ages since the last one, and I still have to give one of the agents her watch back.


May 25, 2004
>the worst movie I've ever seen.

I take it then you have not seen Moulin Rouge? I made it through the first 20 minutes before threatening to end my engagement if the DVD was not removed from the machine and ground up into tiny fragments immediately.

It upsets me just thinking about it. Even a glimpse of the trailer can put me into a week-long bout of depression.


May 27, 2004
No Bob, the wedding march I was in was later in the evening, like 9/10pm. But still it's a small world!

Were you the guy on the raked out Jesse James chopper I saw on Bourbon Street? If so, nice leather chaps Bob, but I would try to wear something underneath in future for the sake of hygiene if not safety : )


May 27, 2004
That is great progress, you will have "Ingrid" inflated in record time with one of these devices!

Hey and it might be useful for motorcycle tires too, did you think of that?

--- In, "Rupert Galea" wrote:
> Cambell Hausfeld have factory serviced RP1200's for $4.49. Comes to
> under $10 with shipping and would save you a trip to WalMart.


June 21, 2004
Nice to run into Mr Ford at Moto Mkt on Sunday, I am looking forward to "looking like a pair of primer gray packers" on the way up to Camp Meade in a few days : )

I think I am also going to have a NOT SEAN patch sewn into the back of my jacket to avoid any confusion on the part of following riders (and perhaps wayward mannequins).


June 23, 2004
I am told they also have a firm-yet-forgiving feel to them, so I imagine it's a bit like Raceteching your knockers.


June 24, 2004
Me I say perforated, but I am pretty warm blooded and I prefer to be cold than baking hot. Pack a fleece if you're not into the "nipples like spark plugs" thing as I am.


October 26, 2004

That is fantastic - and by "fantastic" I mean "gay" obviously.

I thought I was secure in my manhood but apparently not, since I would not ride around wearing a nylon skirt.


November 15, 2004
Similarly, I will be riding my bike of course!

Unless it's snowing again in which case I will be riding Rupert's bike. : )


Nov 19, 2004
High-tech is bad news. I for one have ordered a cheap Chinese-made knockoff of a 1974 Honda CB250 to replace my bike - based on Claudio's experience it is clear that they are better off-road than an 1150 GS and can be repaired by a Mongolian peasant with a mallet - which means even a typical local dealership should have at least a fighting chance of servicing it without any balls ups.


Dec 7, 2004
Degs is right - a wobbly is going completely pear shaped on the geezer. Maybe even giving him a hoof in the aris, or an oliver in the North and South if he gives you any rabbit.


Dec 10, 2004
> Hey, doesn't your M coupe have a foursome
> of delicious browneyes hanging out

It does indeed, but I don't think you can get your hips low enough and jacking the car up is cheating.

Besides as my dad used to say, as a general rule one should try to avoid rogering Germans.


Dec 10, 2004
Also Camp Meade tends to be a thousand mile weekend - isn't that about three valve adjustments and a new clutch if you take the Duck?

Sorry Charlie it's what I do : )


Jan 5, 2005
> Doooooooooooooooooooode it's a Ducati not a Harley!!!!!!!!

Jesus how could I have mixed them up - it's not like they are both terrifically expensive and posy, covered in shiny bits, dogged by iffy reliability, and a cylinder short of a three pack.

Charlie: Last year Wayne had his CBR600RR. This year his S4R. I am sure you will have fun comparing open clutch covers and valve inspection bills, you Eyetie bike junkie fruitcakes.

A man has to have a hobby and I enjoy this one almost as much as Signore Ford will enjoy filling your $2k worth of hand-crafted carbon weave Bolognese race cans full of his own homemade brand of alfredo sauce.

Admittedly they do look and sound great, but so does Jennifer Garner and you could probably be riding her for the same kind of rent.


Feb 1, 2005
Of course not. That would destroy the element of surprise upon which my elaborately-architected 7am "wheel the bike down the drive quietly" Saturday morning escapes are founded.


Feb 25, 2005
> If work is going well and I feel I can take a
> few hours off I may also head up.

Annie called from the garage - apparently your bike just got momentarily very excited, then presumably had some kind of moment of clarity, and suddenly looked very disappointed and started to weep little blue coolant tears of loneliness.


Mar 6, 2005
In the words of Sean Connery in The Untouchables, "Jusht like a wop shport tourer to bring soft bagsh to a hard bagsh party".


Mar 10, 2005
I did not intend to kick off a theological debate, I was just fascinated that people in a niche as small as sport motorcycling needed to further differentiate themselves from one another based on entirely unrelated (to me anyway) criteria.

I don't know why I found it interesting because I suppose it's pretty commonplace.
Agnostic Immigrant White Male Sport Riders Of Metrowest Massachusetts
Who Smoke Excessively And Drink Lots Of Coffee


Mar 30, 2005
So you like the way it looks from behind but can't afford it.

You feel about the Speed Triple as I feel about Jennifer Garner.


Apr 5, 2005
I s'pose it might be more convenient for you in your job Greg, since I am told that tight leather is de rigeur in your "occupation". The rest of us have to change into street clothes when we get to the office you know : )


Apr 13, 2005
Independent testing confirms that stopping the 97-01 Daytona from top speed using the rear brake can take up to three quarters of an hour. In fact it's best to write off the whole day to it.

The Tiger is kind of the opposite, and will lock the back end up with very little provocation. It all makes sense, the Tiger does not have the killer front stoppers the Daytona's got.


Apr 20, 2005
> Thanks Adam for the offer... not sure you want my fat
> ass on the back of you

There goes my bid for the Guinness book with a 30 mile wheelie on the Tiger!


Apr 27, 2005
Just pack your rain gear. For women Rupert tells me that a white tee shirt and fully perforated leathers is a good combination.


May 3, 2005
Yes but Rob has never been known to fondle other people's tires, or to take pictures of himself doing it for the purposes of public humiliation.

Unless he is taking advantage of the exposed hub nut of the single-sided swingarm (which I think might be dangerous, even with a paddock stand) then what he does in the privacy of his own garage is up to him.

For example if Rupert liked to sit on his bike naked to enjoy the cool touch of a carbon fiber tank pad on his genitals, that would be his own affair. I am not saying he does or anything, that would not be my place.


May 4, 2005
Bloody hell here we go again - just go and buy a BMW will you?

Go to Duncans Beemers in Maynard. I am sure the proceeds from your Speedtona will buy you a shagged-beyond-belief 1977 R100S with a stone age engine that was last used as a fucking tractor by a potato farmer in Idaho but at least then you won't have to worry about how Triumph gave you the shaft.

Do it - I will treat you to the sheepskin seat.


May 5, 2005
Yes yes very nice. Now wipe all the spit off your monitor and return to writing in a proper language that does not make love sonnets sound like death threats.

--- In, "Greg Jarvis" wrote:
> mmmmmmmmmmm
> anti-lock brakes & Bosch ignition
> ein, zwei, drei, vier
> verlassenes Recht verlie? Recht


May 6, 2005
>Tired of having a horn that did not get noticed

Based on the spam email I keep getting, this seems to be a common problem amongst men and I am glad you have managed to find a workaround that did not involve surgery.

Now all you need to do is find more opportunities to use your "horn".

: )


May 20, 2005
>I have to say Adam has the best-looking Triumph I have
>seen. That bike is beautiful.

Now we are fucking talking!

And let me also offer a provisional "shut the fuck up" in advance to anyone about to say anything stupid about primer.

And by anyone I mean Greg : )


Jun 1, 2005
Today I rode the Daytona to work and back and generally enjoyed it, although as usual I felt like it was a fish out of water in commuter traffic. I also wondered, as I often do lately, why the suspension sucked so very much.

I have been wondering whether the Tiger's kickass-for-the-street suspension is spoiling me, or whether the Daytona's ride characteristics have indeed actually got a lot worse since I've owned it. So, when I got home, I decided to ride Pete's Kawasaki ZX-10R since he has been offering for a while and has left it in my garage while he is in the Isle of Man getting hammered.

As a brief backgrounder, this is the same bike that spent 4 months or so in the corner of my garage during Wintertime looking pissed off and threatening my wife's Subaru.

I consider myself an averagely competent street rider, and recognize that I have probably much better judgement and self-discipline than I have skill. I am fairly comfortable with things that way around though, I expect it's why I am still alive.

Although it was near dark and I did not intend on or do much of a ride on the bike (cheers though Pete if you are reading this from the IOM) and only took it out for a short ride through some local urban and residential areas, I found it was a motorcycle that spoke to me clearly.

This is what it had to say:

1. I am actually much greener in color than you have noticed previously, and will be stared at by people as if I were an alien spacecraft abducting their children.

2. Although my bars are well-situated and my tank is a joy to grip between your legs, my footpegs are so very fucking high that you will wonder if they're even there. However once you find them you won't notice it much, for reasons I will come to next.

3. I know you have ridden a number of so-called performance motorcycles before, but they have the focus of a Chinese-made $2 disposable camera compared with me. Believe me when I tell you that I go, stop, and turn much faster than you or anyone you have ever spent much time with is capable of addressing effectively. I make the Ducati 999 you rode last year feel like a Volvo. Like the public roads you force me onto, you are so fucking unworthy - the only difference is you know it, because you've had your license for more than 18 months unlike the twats in t-shirts that it is my mission to maim or kill.

4. You had better not make any throttle mistakes or grab too much brake at the wrong time or I will spit you into the gutter in a highside you won't fucking believe.

5. You should know that if we encounter any 19 year-old squids, they will decide they need to ride in formation with us, or have a race. You will probably decline to participate in either because you're such a fucking pussy and you don't want anyone to die in the busy part of Route 9. You suck!

5. You can short-shift through to second and third if you like you fucker, but you are only delaying your inevitable doom.

6. Even though I am so very fast, I do not intend to make speeds feel slower than they are. Particularly with this Devil exhaust - I am so fucking loud that last week Motorhead moved in next door and called the police to deal with me. Fucking deaf people will jump into hedges when I pass. When you're doing 35 through a town center in third, I will make it sound like MotoGP and you will think you are doing 70.

Honestly I did really enjoy the ride as limited as it was, but I was quite stunned by how focussed the 10R is. You can read the magazine articles all you like and it doesn't convey the message properly. Ride one if you get the chance because it's a loony little bitch.



Jun 16, 2005
Very good point Mike. Just to clarify, if I pass anyone who has been stopped for speeding in front of me, I will be continuing to ride until I either run out of fuel or reach Camp Meade.


Jun 20, 2005
Mick -

No worries I ran you through it earlier. Your dream bike is a matte-black-with-skulls Vespa 125 trike with twin turbos, a 200-series rear wheel, frame sliders, and five NOS canisters.


Jul 7, 2005
Basically if it comes from a country that lost or declined to participate in World War II, you can assume that it has the much-coveted Jarvis Seal of Approval.


Jul 13, 2005
>the word "color" doesn't have a "u" in it

Yeah and don't forget to spell aluminum properly without the second "i", this way it matches all the other elements on the periodic table like plutonum, strontum, and caesum. Or fucking not.


Jul 19, 2005
Mr Jarvis, you implying that someone does not work is like me accusing other people of using bad fucking language.


Jul 25, 2005
You think that's impressive, but it's even more so when you realize he is actually reversing round that corner - since 1939, all French military and police vehicles have 1 forward and 5 reverse gears.