Adam John Bell

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Adam's NEDoD posts

Subject: firms, college ban employee smoking at home [nomoto]
Date: 28 January 2005

>That's totally bogus. I say people can smoke, they should just pay more
>for health insurance

What a great idea. Let's also impose additional fees for fat people and motorcyclists because they're both very high risk groups. Those who drink alcohol should also be considered both medically and socially iffy. Let's also pursue additional revenues from women on birth control and anybody without the ability to demonstrate healthy genealogy. Fat adopted motorcycle owners on the pill who like a scotch and a cigar in the evening are going to be good business.

>and have to stay after work to make up for all the
>time they spend dealing with their habit over the course of a day. Not
>an issue for salaried workers, but when I supervised an hourly staff,
>the smoke breaks taken by the smoking portion of the staff were viewed
>with some animosity.

Whereas those employees who stand around chatting with coworkers or are generally unproductive are overlooked?

>I made rules. No cigarette break within one hour of arriving for work.
>No smoke breaks within one hour of your starting lunch time. No smoke
>breaks within one hour off coming back from lunch and no smoke breaks
>within one hour of quitting time.

The make sense and should be intuitive. This is behavioral stuff though, and not specifically related to smoking per se.

What kind of a society do you think encouraging or supporting this kind of action will lead to? And do you think you will be proud to live there?


Subject: Conn Superior Court & VASCAR
Date: 5 February 2005

> did not even get to cross examine the trooper.

Just as well - based on my 2004 experience, this is the point at which they start fabricating. Most disillusioning, but I suppose I am foolish to expect law enforcement officials to take oathes as seriously as I do.



Subject: Re: nonmoto - Television purchase advice needed
Date: 23 February 2005

>have you ever eating in britain? anything that can be boiled, will
>be, whether or not it should be.

Regrettably, as a matter of national policy, Her Majesty does not accept gastronomic criticism from residents of countries in which Hostess cakes and countless different kinds of beef jerky are permitted to flourish.

This rule is imposed for the same reason as the No Car Advice From The French Statute (1980), and the No Humor Critique from Germany Act (1972), both of which also remain in effect.

This has been a public service announcement.


Subject: Re: (Oxy?)moron: English cuisine
Date: 23 February 2005

Now listen. The problem here is that you are volunteering all of the best things about English food as examples of how bad it is. I picked Hostess cakes and beef jerky, which I think we can agree are both totally shambolic examples right from the bottom of the pile of American food products.

If you want to make a persuasive argument, you need to identify really bad English foods. They do exist, but I'm not going to just give them away.

Steak and kidney pie - and indeed all meat pies - are absolutely fantastic and you all owe us a debt of thanks for all of the pie-oriented foods that you have been able to invent by standing on the shoulders of the Steak And Ale Pie Giants.

Furthermore, perhaps you might consider properly adjusting this notion of the "Irish pub" and "Irish breakfast" back to their original form of "English pub" and "English breakfast", both of which are far superior (former has incalculable benefit of no diabolical renditions of Whisky In The Jar, latter has brown sauce like all half-decent breakfasts ought).

Haggis is also very good, but you have to get over the concept. I accept that surmounting difficult preconceived notions is challenging, but it is worth doing - for example, I had a relatively enjoyable 20 mile ride on an Italian-built motorcycle last year having suspended my preconception that it was never going to make it without something falling off.


Subject: Marmite, Lucas, and Other Stories
Date: 24 February 2005

Vegemite is the Australian version of Marmite. Possibly the most controversial foodstuff ever and a good way to get yourself divorced, if my wife's reaction is anything to go by.

>I *like* beef jerky.

Nuff said.

>Now this is rich. An Englishman[1] is criticizing the Italians
>for having unreliable machinery?

The British made unreliable motorcycles at a time when everyone made unreliable motorcycles except the Japanese. We have since learned to make very reliable motorcycles, even if we still can't put together a car that isn't iffy.

But according to MCN, TVR are allegedly working on motorcycle prototypes - if they bring them to market then we may have a shot at recovering the "bits fall off" crown.


Subject: RE: (NMC) Next flame war on deck...
Date: 24 February 2005

>>We owned a Z3 2.8 when Sherry got pregnant. Lovely car, Sherry cried
>>big croc tears when we traded it on the Vic.

>Now that was a really lovely car. That's the one I test drove; by far
>the smoothest engine I've ever had the pleasure to experience. But it
>had gone out of production when we ordered ours, so I got the 3.0
>instead. It's lumpy at low RPM, but va va voom what they did to the

Two weeks ago I traded away my M Coupe, which was basically a hardtopped Z3 with the ///Motorsports treatment and 3.2 straight six. Probably the best-looking car I will ever own, and a super engine, but really a quite awful car for the quality of roads we have here, and some iffy cabin build quality for a BMW. After two years I decided I could not live with all of the compromise for a couple of minutes of excitement a month. I have bikes for the things that car was good at.

I've owned a lot of cars from a lot of different countries, and all I've found is that stereotypical urban legends of reliability, build quality, longevity, and maintenance costs relating to car marques and countries of origin are all totally unreliable.


Subject: RE: (NMC) Next flame war on deck...
Date: 25 February 2005

> But turn off the traction control and the Z3 is an utter handful,
> extremely difficult to control once you get it sliding, and with all
> that torque getting it sliding is trivial[1]. Traction control makes a
> /huge/ difference.

It is spectacularly effective and there are very few reasons why you would ever electronically defeat it.

My M Coupe with traction control and Blizzak LM22s would go anywhere - at least until it ran out of its three inches of ground clearance, at which point it became the world's most unusual and ineffective ploughing device.

But the point is that the tire technology and electronic assistance made it a 300hp car that got you home, rather than leaving you stranded at the bottom of a hill on Route 9 trying to share body heat with a delegation from the IROC owner's club (NOOOOOOO!).


Subject: hahaha
Date: 28 February 2005

>Obmediabias: Noticed in last weekend's Globe that, when
>asked to pick his (their?) favorite AWD vehicles in about 8
>different classes, Royal Ford (and others?) did not pick
>a single Audi.

Then again, who cares what Royal Ford thinks. He is a completely superficial muppet who is to automotive journalism what I am to home-cooked food. In fact he's so dull he should work for Car & Driver.

Why are all domestic car and motorcycle magazines so throwaway? Perhaps for the same reason Speed Channel (aka Nascack Channel) manages to be generally crap despite having subject matter that it is nearly impossible to make crap.


Subject: Re: hahaha
Date: 2 March 2005

>In fact, DRLs come with a price. The electricty to runt
>them doesn't come for free. You have to burn fuel. Therefor,
>you get a decrease in fuel economy, an increase in pollution, and
>a slight backdoor increase in fuel tax revenue.


Making your lights go on all the time is a government conspiracy because having the lights on reduces fuel economy by a tangible factor and therefore costs you money.

You need to call your doctor mate, you are building a tolerance to the paranoia medication.


Subject: Re: Legacy GT
Date: 8 March 2005

>You could just wait for the SAAB version...

Does it come with a free cardigan and Starbucks gift card? : )

I think 18mpg is shocking out of the Legacy and would be interested to know if it consistently returns that. Christ I get that out of my new yank tank.



Subject: The birth of a squid
Date: 28 March 2005

Is your brother on a Fireblade is necessarily more dangerous than your brother on a VFR? How about an F4i? Or a 919?

Interestingly it does sound more frightening, but if he keeps company with stunt squids on bling literbikes, the chances of him crashing because he's riding like a knob are probably substantially higher than the chances of him crashing because he lacks skill and experience.

For the last 20 years or so, the latest/greatest literbikes of the year have always inspired disproportionate shock and awe and backlash, but it remains true that you can ride like a knob on anything. I don't mean to argue that the bike doesn't matter or that he's made a smart choice - rather that it's probably the thin end of the risk wedge.

It reminds me of the "guns don't kill people, people kill people" excuse. Which is iffy at the best of times, but definitely has more value in the motorcycling context than it does in a firearms context


Subject: The birth of a squid
Date: 30 March 2005

Which I think brings us back to my prior comment. The power delivery is probably more appropriate but the bike's capable of anything the thousand is, in the wrong hands. The 600RR is still a completely bonkers machine in performance and power-to-weight ratio terms.

I always argue that a stabler, heavier thousand with sensible street geometry is a more manageable machine than a supersport 600. For example, I'd rather see a kid of mine bugger off on a first generation Fireblade than on this year's ZX6R-R-R-R-Aaaaargh I need a steering damper.

Sadly the days of considering supersports bikes to be more accessible than literbikes are not with us anymore, but we refuse to let go of the preconception.

Still it's moving in the right direction, and the ERC is a great idea.


Subject: Anyone for a job in England?
Date: 15 April 2005

Actually I only posted them for the gags. But:

> for those startlingly high UK salaries!

The irony of your statement is not lost on me.

I am not here for the beer.

>with those startlingly high UK tax rates!

The tax rate is not significantly different than here. The overall tax burden is, however. You'd have to trade it off against the benefits of a national healthcare system, drivers with lane discipline, and a general reluctance on the part of the government to let unbalanced lunatics own heavy artillery.

: )


Subject: Sighting
Date: 29 April 2005

Whoever owns the strontium yellow T595 with the Swiss CH decal on the back, it was me on the silver Daytona on Rt2 this evening. I'm pretty sure you're on the list because I saw the bike joining the breakfast ride from Moto Market when I rode up there with my uncle Rupert.


Subject: Sighting
Date: 30 April 2005

>'Twas me. Thanks for letting me cut in at the Exxon. Were you coming
>from MotoMarket?

Yeppy. It was a bit late to be leaving there but people kept talking to me. I did get to see a squid drop his R6 in the car park just having fitted frame sliders. I raised the question of whether he'd have dropped it at all if he hadn't fitted them - the philosophical implications of this question seemed to be falling on deaf ears, which was a shame because I was ready to debate karma.

I did get my arm twisted to ride an ex-colleague's V-Max which was surprisingly enjoyable.

>I was on my way to a game night at friends and was running late (as
>usual) else I would have stayed with you and struck up a conversation at
>the next red light.

I filter right to turn at Emerson Hospital to get home, otherwise I'd have hung in there with you.

> I did something I have not done in as long as I can remember tonight.
> I dropped my helmet (I always put it on the ground when I stop but

Moto Market can get it fixed for you. Whether the impact did any real damage is another story, but they can order you side plates up.



Subject: W101 rocks
Date: 2 May 2005

Jim wrote:

>The SVS (she really needs a name)

No no no, don't do it man.

Like every machine I have ever owned, both my bikes are "it" bikes not "she" bikes, and the manufacturer put names on the side at the factory which are perfectly adequate.

Everyone needs a peeve, particularly on a Monday


Subject: Re: slingshot
Date: 2 May 2005


I have a big problem with this "slingshot" concept, I think it's very risky behavior and there are a lot of potential problems with it. If it's not safe for each rider to pass safely based on his/her own judgement, then it's not. Behave yourself, wait for the right opportunity, or just stop and let the driver go about his/her business and get out of each other's faces.

I for one would not attempt an overtaking manouevre based on a wave from a rider ahead unless all the information I derived from the conditions told me it was safe - and if that is the case then the rider ahead is just a complication I don't want.

In fact this bothers me even more than the next bike in a group starting a pass before the bike in front has completed overtaking. What is just absolutely stupid is passing the car and then slowing down to reduce its speed. It's aggressive, impolite, and bloody dangerous.

Oh and no matter how many times you hear it, isn't the use of the word "cagers" always a pleasure, and doesn't it just foster the proper attitude.

Discourtesy...whatever. Drivers don't owe you anything, and if they wave you by then it's good fortune and exceptional courtesy which you should acknowledge respectfully. Share the road.


Subject: Re: slingshot
Date: 2 May 2005

>"Bloody dangerous", how? To pass and then *slam* on the brakes
>would be dangerous... but I wouldn't do that. Pass, drop back
>into travel lane, match speed with driver, then gradually reduce
>speed. Perfectly safe.

I don't think motorcyclists have the right to manipulate traffic in order to enjoy their corners. If you do not like the local traffic, it's your right to go somewhere less populated or wait for a sensible overtaking opportunity.

To be honest I am having a hard time visualizing a scenario in which this slingshot could be accomplished safely in less time than it would take to find a viable overtaking opportunity, on any kind of road you should be sport riding.

>Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

Providing you accomplish the elaborate multi-bike manouevre successfully. Doing so requires a lot of things to go correctly.

>> Oh and no matter how many times you hear it, isn't the use of the word
>> "cagers" always a pleasure, and doesn't it just foster the proper attitude.
>Oh dear, how prim we are.

Don't take the piss. Do you think that this "them and us" mentality that the word represents does anything to raise the public's perception of motorcyclists as good road users? Do you think that because you left the house with the firm intent of focussing your energy on riding your motorcycle all day means that sixty year old Mr and Mrs Buick should drive at a speed they're not comfortable with because they ought not to present an obstacle to your enjoyment of the roads? Do you think that negatively generalizing all people driving cars on public roads might validate their vision of you, a properly-attired and experienced motorcyclist with respect for others, as the same kind of undesireable element as the squid in a tank top and a pair of shorts who wheelied past them over the brow of a hill half an hour earlier on his newly-financed GSX-R1000 and learner's permit?

>OK, does "rolling roadblocks" sound better to you?

No, that doesn't sound good to me at all. I think it's arrogant.



Subject: fredneck's rant was :slingshot and other bull
Date: 3 May 2005

>perhaps you haven't noticed that riding a motorcycle is, in
>general, harder than driving a car. it requires finer motor
>control, it requires balance.

I have noticed.

I think my point is that any amount of alcohol will be detrimental to your ability to drive/ride, and since both are activities that involve inherent risk of hurting other people, it's best not to do it because it isn't very considerate.

>i'd go so far as to advocate different legal limits for riding
>than driving. they're completely different activities.

That's fine by me, providing the legal limit for driving discourages people from doing three pints then getting behind the wheel at about the same time I'm riding home in the evening


Subject: fredneck's rant was :slingshot and other bull
Date: 3 May 2005

>There is trust and there is TRUST. I believe most NEDoD subscribers are
>competent riders. I trust them to make judgments for themselves. There
>are damn few people on the planet that I trust enough to make decisions
>for ME. In general, if someone make a pass, I'll look and decide for
>myself what to do. I can count on one hand those people who, when they
>jet, I just go with them.

Very well said.

> I am on the bike, I can't drink, might hurt myself.
> It's okay, I am in a car, so I can drink. (No possibility of hurting others?)

I hear of this a lot - "I am taking the car so I can have a drink". Surely setting a different limit for yourself because you are in a car rather than riding a motorcycle is an admission that you will be impaired but don't care so long as you're protected well. We could argue degrees of impairment for years but why bother? If you get nailed by a lane-changing car driven by a bloke who's had three beers, will you be receptive to his argument that he wasn't really mentally affected even though his reaction times might have been a bit slower?

> The nedod safety nazis won't let you drink and ride

I don't understand "nazi" in this context. Neither drinking and driving, or drinking and riding, are necessary. So just using some discipline and not doing it seems to be a good way of eliminating any potential for ambiguity.


Subject: Warned
Date: 13 May 2005

>To make matters worse, it was a petite black female

You have to watch out for them. One wrong word and they'll boot you in the knackers and take you down town to Chinatown.

Right Todne?



Subject: Narrow escape
Date: 3 June 2005

>Rotaries rock when they are used correctly

I agree Paul, and always thought they were effective in Blighty. They can also make for some good tire-scrubbing!

However since a public education campaign seems unlikely, and about 10% of drivers apparently know the proper way to address a roundabout, I think we should take them out of the picture here. They are more trouble than they are worth, let's admit defeat.

And install lots of traffic lights...with sensors that detect motorcycles


Subject: Route 2 in Maine
Date: 7 June 2005

>Caveat #2: It might not be worth the hassle of crossing the border if
>the US-side guy decides he has to find out the "real" reason you went
>into Canada for just an hour.

That was my concern. I've been pulled up for an hour at the border before by a completely irrational bastard of a customs official. I think two British muppets on Triumphs going to Canada for their breakfast have a tangible shot at arousing suspicion. Or perhaps just animosity. Either way your day is f$%ked up.


Subject: CamelBak
Date: 9 June 2005

>Camelbak and a foley cather.
>If I could rig up an auxiliary 16 gallon fuel tank I would not need to
>stop at all

You will if you're riding with me sunshine...unless I can finish the elaborate design of my revolutionary Nicotinebak(tm) by tomorrow.

I think it will be a raging success with motorcyclists throughout Europe, probably less of a seller within the hiking and mountain biking communities.


Subject: six months
Date: 22 June 2005

Todne wrote:

>You found an oil spot?

Here we bloody go again. Perhaps you did not get the memo?


With immediate effect, the Complaints Department for Regurgitated 1970s Slander Against Modern British Motorcycles is closed to all owners of Italian machinery from June through to May. We thank you for your patience, and wish you luck with your next monthly valve adjustment and annual engine rebuild.



Subject: MM Tonight
Date: 14 July 2005

Wow, are you telepathic?

Actually it is not so much Euro bike night as "people who spend far too much time drinking coffee and bench racing at Moto Market night".

I do not expect to see many people there today because all the fair weather riders will be scared by the forecast.

Come and say hello if you are there. I think we have met briefly when I appeared with Rupert after we did the MM1k.



Subject: SUV driver crashes into charity run
Date: 26 July 2005

> Saying it was an SUV was gratuitous.

Totally. It just made for a more controversial story and fuelled a bit of stereotype.

>Some riders had to lay down their motorcycles

This context justifies it, but I hate the phrase "lay it down", it sounds so very proactive where ordinarily the reality is otherwise. Oh I had to lay it down, what wonderful skills I have, a lesser mortal would merely have crashed.