Message from Adam's wife

I have been wanting to write a message for days, but every time I have sat down to do so, I seem incapable of saying the things which I feel need saying.

When I met Adam, he seemed too good to be true, kind, thoughtful, funny, handsome, sincere, romantic and wonderful. Many people have remarked on Adam's no-nonsense straight forward manner, and he was like this in love, as well. I knew after our first date I would married him, I don't think he was as sure for about another week. We knew instantly that we were right for one another. After six months together we moved in, and on Christmas morning, a year after we had met, he proposed in front of my family on Christmas morning. I then proceeded to drive him insane planning the wedding of the century from across the pond.

My family loves Adam. He used to trade Irish jokes with my mom, was like an older brother to my sister Mary Beth, a.k.a "The Moose", and was like a son to my father, who finally had all sorts of precious gems of wisdom involving house maintenance that his daughters had never cared to absorb.

As for Adam's family, he adored them. He had just lost his mum when we met, and the loss was deep. In some ways, seeing him grieve and come to terms with her death is a help to me now. He was very close to his dad, and to his sister Lucy. He had loads of hilarious stories about his sister and he growing up, mischief they had gotten into. He did a great impression of his sister's voice, also very no-nonsense, like Adam's. Lucy had a baby, our nephew Ben, and Adam was completely enamored with him. We were fortunate to have them come and visit in May, and Adam was thrilled to spend time with him. Ben was an absolute delight to Adam, and we had talked at length about how we hoped we'd be so lucky when we had children.

Here are a few things you may or may not have known about Adam:
  • The man loved ice cream. He had ice cream almost nightly along with a large glass of milk right before bed.
  • He would eat almost anything. The only foods that Adam did not care for was the "green stuff in the lobster" and an interesting Russian dish he had once made of boiled giblets and chicken fat, which was frozen and cut like jello.
  • He was a snuggler.
  • He loved all animals, especially our pet rabbits.
  • He had picked up from me the habit of singing songs about various things, usually me or the rabbits.
  • He loved the rabbits, Carats and Jumper, and would cuddle them, groom them and sing to them often.
  • He had a number of silly nicknames for me, most recently monkey.
  • He had an uncanny ability to recall movie dialogue and trivia, and knew all the names of the members of his favourite bands.
  • He sometimes talked in his sleep, much to my amusement.
  • The man could shower and be dressed in under 5 minutes.
  • He liked things neat, and I'm a clutter bug. He cleaned more than I did, often before I was even awake.
  • Any dish I made for him, casserole or gourmet he treated as though it was gold.
  • He'd spend hours outside every Sunday washing and detailing the cars and bikes with imported English products his best friend Dazza would bring over on visits. He also used a toothbrush and q-tips.
  • I once caught him using the shop-vac on the driveway.
  • He was the kindest man I've ever known.
  • When I got sick last year, he took care of me, and when I broke my ankle he worked long hours at his job, then came home to cook clean and do laundry and he never once complained.
  • He was a great hugger. He gave wonderful hugs that just enveloped you.
  • He loved sausages; he loved grilling outside in the evenings.
  • He loved our house. He turned out to be very handy. He bought a book on drywall and then completely re-did our mudroom, ceilings, walls, everything. He also insulated and dry walled the garage, to keep it a bit warmer in the winter. He took a tile class, and excelled in that, as well. After much swearing he also managed to do crown molding in our bedroom and the living room.
  • He was a wonderful writer, and had planned to write a book someday.
  • He loved to travel and we had plans to see most of the world. He was also fascinated by the American RV, and often said when we retired we'd buy one and drive around the country.
  • He swore like a sailor. Don't know when he picked it up, but he sort of became known for it, and would occasionally try to think of new ways to combine unusual swear words. His language was very often colorful, and hilarious. When I told him he'd have to stop this when we had kids, he said swearing was the least of their problems, with all the ignorance, prejudice, hate and violence in the world.
  • Adam was very accomplished at Karate. When we met he was a test away at being a black belt in Shaolin Kempo Karate, and always impressed me when he'd close the fridge with a roundhouse back kick.
  • Adam enjoyed skiing, and when we first met, we spent many weekends in Killington with our best man, Andy. Andy and Adam would generally bomb down the hill in record speeds, not bothering to turn much, and then spend the evening drinking large quantities of tequila and watching in amusement as the people they rented the house with threw darts, often at each other. Our last ski trip was the winter before last, when we were two of a handfull of people who had gone to the mountain in 20 below zero weather. I suggested we skip skiing and go antiquing, but whether it was fear of spending all day in antique shops, or sheer bloody-mindedness, he insisted we forge ahead and ski, even though most of the mountain was closed due to dangerously cold temperatures.
  • He loved his friends, and there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for them.
  • He hated the extreme cold of New England winters.
  • He hated George Bush, and was astonished that he had been elected to a second term.
  • He hated bugs and patrolled the house guarding against ants.
  • He didn't cook much, but could make a fabulous cheesecake.
  • Adam could talk about cars and motorcycles for ages, and ages, and ages... he was a wealth of knowledge and opinion on pretty much everything with wheels.

I want to thank all of you who rode to the memorial, Adam would have loved that. He loved all of you. He loved riding. It made me nervous at times, worried for him, but he loved it so much, it was his real passion in life, and I supported it completely. He loathed the riders who would ride recklessly, splitting lanes, not wearing protective gear... he always said it made people like him and his friends, those who rode with caution, who took precautions, look bad.

Adam is the love of my life, and always will be. We did not have nearly enough time together, but if I had to do over again, knowing in the end there would be this awful, tearing pain, I'd do it all over again.

Annie Bell